It's not you. It's me.
And my growing Did Not Finish pile
In the past few months, I’ve read or attempted to read six books. It hasn’t gone well. I always choose carefully. I start each one with high hopes. Alas.
Here’s the rundown:
1. I got to page 138 out of 300. That’s nearly half the book. I felt that any minute, just one more page, and I would be captivated. But I had no empathy for the characters, no matter how uniquely portrayed. All I needed was a few lines of backstory. Give me just a hint of how these people ended up in this predicament. Give me a reason to care. Otherwise, they are colorful cardboard puppets on a fantastical stage. Although I knew it was a historical fantasy set in an alternative 1600s, it felt more like a 1960s romp through absurdity. Little internally or externally felt like the 1600s. The prose was somehow difficult. I had to reread many lines even well into the book. I could not find the voice pattern. I gave up and moved on. 4.3 stars on Amazon.
2. I flew through this one. It was imperfect. The historicity was worse than questionable. But the immersive story moved along and made me care. I had a newsletter article roughed in. Then, with only thirty pages left, the writer portrayed a graphic sexual assault from the victim’s 1st person point of view. Nope. No. No. No. Nope. I did not finish the book. Sexual violence is real. I don’t ignore it in my WIP. But I’m not going to recommend that level of 1st person detail to anyone. 4.4 stars on Amazon.
3. Another one I thought I’d love based on time and place. After 58 pages, abandoned. That far in and yet no plot, no problem, no over-arching conflict. I may have bailed too soon, but that’s way too much ink spent on establishing “normal” before the inciting incident. Also, there was little description of what should have been a rich immersive opportunity, and the prose construction, although clean, felt juvenile, not noteworthy. 4.3 stars on Amazon.
4. In desperation, I started reading a fantasy by a writer I used to read faithfully. It had been many years since I’d done so, but I figured this was a sure bet. Ten pages in—nope. Tropes are the framework of all fiction, but they must be fresh. I felt like I was reading an AI version of the least common denominator in a string of fantasy tropes. (Naw. And it was written enough years ago that there would have been no AI involved.) 4.3 stars on Amazon.
Whew. Soldiering on…
5. 120 of 417 pages. Sigh. When you start looking at your % of book read on your Kindle... It just seemed so unlikely. Interesting context, but the characters were making too many foolish choices. This wasn’t going to end well, and I wanted to smack them. 4.3 stars on Amazon—over 35K reviews.
6. Okay, try a short story. Oh no. Animal suffering. Nope.
So, what’s going on here?
These are successful stories. Imagine having 35,000 4+ starred reviews? I can only hope to do a tenth so well.
Is it me? Maybe.
I used to never abandon a book. I suppose I’m overly aware that millions of other books await. Why suffer through something I’m not enjoying? And yet, a niggle in my brain wondered if I haven’t succumbed to the 21st century’s demand for instant gratification. On the one hand, it is reasonable to be choosy when there are so many options, but am I missing the gems because of my impatience?
Then, this newsletter landed in my Substack inbox:
In it, he describes the process by which we have moved from art to entertainment to distraction and into dopamine addiction.
“The tech platforms aren’t like the Medici in Florence, or those other rich patrons of the arts. They don’t want to find the next Michelangelo or Mozart. They want to create a world of junkies—because they will be the dealers.
Addiction is the goal.
They don’t say it openly, but they don’t need to. Just look at what they do.
Everything is designed to lock users into an addictive cycle.”
Please read his article. I mean it.
Brilliant, as always, Gioia makes me pause and consider whether I am too hasty in my reading judgment.
Is my willingness to abandon a book so easily a symptom of the distraction-to-addiction phase of our media consumption meltdown?
I don't know...it sounds like you had good reason to DNF all those books. I also found Ted Gioia's article thought-provoking and challenging, but it sounds like yours wasn't a case of putting down the books because of distractibility. Choosing where to spend your time and attention isn't the same as dopamine culture! I also find a huge difference in my reading motivation when it's quality writing that speaks to me. I hope the next few reads are better for you!
For me, I think it's a function of a lifetime of reading, and developing strong opinions about what good writing and storytelling consists of. More than 50 pages in and I haven't been shown a reason to empathize with the characters, or a clear understanding of what problem/goal they're engaged with? I don't think that's a dopamine issue, I think it's a matter of a writer not finishing their job.
There have always been people who are perfectly happy to read clunkily-written books cover to cover and praise them. Now we get to read their reviews online. I don't get it, but I'm not going to make it about me.